Obituaries

My Younger sister has died…

Obituary of my beloved sister Naseem Akhtar……..who has died so early in spring of her age and in spring season! ( May Allah rest her in peace)

My Younger sister has died…

Death is reality of life, but sometimes it has devastating affects not for the near and dear ones of departed; but even for the ideas which prop and sustain our lives. May be this is one of the moments in my life, I am thousands of miles away from my homeland and my younger sister has departed from this world leaving two kids in this mortal world.

Naseem was my sister, and till yesterday she was alive I talked to her days ago on phone she was admitted in hospital may be a month ago , but she was suffering silently and was victim of neglect of whom? I know, but I also don’t know. The life has painful realities and at the moment my reality is fluid and I am finding it very hard to accept my life’s decision as living away from my family. It is painful and I cannot hold my tears and I want to be stoic and there is no issue in denying that process of death is the transformation which liberates us from evils and sins of this world. Naseem is no more, now she cannot face more neglect and she died in silence as she was in her real life ………. Silent and I remember years ago , when she was sent away from our home to one of my Nanni (grand mother) as she was born very weak. For years we did not know of her and after many years she returned to our house ……. Her mother’s home or she was always homeless. She was homeless not in practical sense but in a spiritual and psychological sense and was married and she was still homeless. She has reached to her eternal abode; perhaps she was lost after death of Nanni…her mother… and searched her in the years she spent alone. My mother told me often she was silent and did not mix with others in our family, with other 10 siblings. Yes she lived in her own world and I will never be able to know secrets of that world………….we die in ignorance and live in ignorance.

My heart weeps, I weep as I try to write these lines, I cannot fathom this fact that she died so early, perhaps she endured enough. She was barely in her twenties. Daughter have to suffer, women have to suffer and this suffering wrenches my heart and it will keep on wrenching our hearts, the death is a fact and we can never run from it and no one can run from death…………but searching for love and belonging and then dying in process is a death which has pain painted over again and again with all the landscape colors of heart and soul.

Pain, pain and grief has overtaken me and also anger at human indifference and blaming cannot remove the signs of blood. Blood at invisible hands and blood spewed out of lungs, she died from lung disease and still I don’t know the real cause. Tuberculosis or what else? Perhaps there is no need to know as passed away souls cannot come back and let her rest in peace! May be her search has entered into another phase.

Life, death and pain… the eternal symphony sung in the march of human beings from cradle to grave. But these rhythms of life take a heavy toll willingly or unwillingly we have to suffer their brunt. She has left a daughter in cradle barely some months old and herself gone to sleep in the lap of earth…the ultimate cradle of human souls!

I remember her son Junaid, may Allah bestow Junaid with wisdom and courage of Junaid Baghdadi (RA), her mother is no more to look after him, to take care of him. The pictures ;when Naseem lost her path while going away from home to meet her Mausi (aunt) is in front of my eyes and I can relive the anxiety which I faced , that my sister is lost and how frantically was my mind racing to determine where she has gone. Now she is lost till the final day! Her silence had an ocean of ideas in herself. Memories have remained and they have become eternal by her untimely departure.

Spring of her age has been taken by autumn so early so suddenly and there is winter… a long long winter……when will spring come again? We mortals don’t know……… we can never know depths of human heart and human limits.

She longed for company and her pleasures of company with her children have been cut short by delicate balance of life and death. She yearned and thought of her kids on her death bed, her body was frail and she could no more cope with loneliness and mountain of pain surrounding her.

Vivid memories are casting shadows of reminiscence over my heart; perhaps they were so few and so personal. Many memories; will never lose their factual contours and anguish ingrained in them. May Allah rest her soul in peace, eternal peace!

She longed for company and her pleasures of company with her children have been cut short by delicate balance of life and death. She yearned and thought of her kids on her death bed, her body was frail and she could no more cope with loneliness and mountain of pain surrounding her.

About the author

Mahmood Akhtar Mahmood

Mahmood Akhtar Mahmood is 32 years old Pakistani serving in Consulate General of Pakistan Shanghai as Vice Consul. He holds Chartered Accountancy degree from Foundation ICAP Karachi, Pakistan. He holds Masters in History and Economics. He has served in Provincial Government of Punjab in Judiciary, Administration and Revenue Departments; also worked in United Nations Division in Foreign Office Islamabad. Besides working in Consulate General of Pakistan Shanghai he loves reading and writing.

11 Comments

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  • Mahmood Bhai,

    Its really a tough time for you and also for all of us. I can understand your pain deep through my heart..as i have faced a same thing..the same pain of loosing dear ones.I have lost some one 9 years ago and still i cry for her.It will be really not worth to say you…”please set down ..or be cool…or saab thik ho jaega”..because this things are really not to be said in this critical situation. But atleast i can say you ….that we will all pray for her…may her soul get the eternity…may god bless her soul. You are a person who has brain to analyse this situation. But i am concerned about her son …3-4 years old.He really dont know what he has lost..take care of him and never make him feel this pains. Of course for the baby girl also this things apply.Take care dear and may god bless you and your family and trust us …we are with you in your tough times.Love and respect for your sister from India.

  • Thank you Dear Ambarish Pandey, May Allah bless her soul.

    And about her children you have said truth, he is innocent adn small enough to understand reality of life.

  • Mahmood!

    Really sorry to hear about your sister.. my sister was twenty years old when she passed away and i was left alone.. Please have patience and pray to Allah for her sakoon..

    Allah us ki maghfirat fermay or Jannat-ulfirdos main jaga aata fermaey ameen

  • Mahmood Sahib!
    Feeling very sad about your sister.. this is Allah’s will who soever comes has to go back..

    By the way

    Where are you.. i read Rubab wrote you have not seen your sister..

    May Allah bless her soul and give you courage to bear this lose.. ameen

  • Mahmood bhai,
    I am feeling too sad to hear about your sister. I can understand the pain that you are feeling right now. My Grandfather died 2 months earlier, i can think of that when ppl those are close to us, what happens when they left us and gone into the immortal world. But you know we all have to go one day and death is reality. But when unexpected thing comes to us, its very difficult for us to control our emotions. But you will get patience gradually, because it is really big lose. You and your relatives should take care of her children, and never feel them alone.

    Please accept my Condolence from the core of my heart. I am really sorry about your sister. We are with you in your tough time.

    Please have patience in Allah and pray to Allah for her. May Allah rest her in peace. I will pray for your sister.

    Regards,

    Salman A. Sheikh

  • Dear Mr. Mahmood,

    This is such a beautiful and painful obituary for your young sister. You have touched me deeply. Thank you for writing it. My prayers to you and your family and your sister’s two young children, and to your sister, who surely lives now in eternal peace and joy. – Tommy

  • I am in hong kong with my mom and dad!Then on December 16 2008 ..my grandma came to hong kong for a visit .. and on 3rd April,2009 .. she went back to pakistan.Whenever i think about her .. i start to cry .. and today is 4th april 2009…I am still missing her and my heart is feeling very sad that whoever talks to me about her .. i start to cry..And my heart is so sad that i have no mood to do anything and neither i want to smile .. i am still crying now since yesterday.. Any solutions for me to stop crying?