I strongly disagree with Hubbard on his famous statement,
“He who doesn’t understand your silence, will probably not understand your words.”
I read and laughed but then agreed with the delicate use of the word “probably”. What an assumption?
I am a firm believer of “Assumption being the mother of all mess ups.” And I often quote it in my routine mentoring by replacing mess up with the “F” word. Excuse my French… but I angrily walkout against the whole idea of assumptions among relationships which has destroyed our whole society in real terms and turned the lives of such beautiful “made for each other” couples into hell, eventually ending up into rapid break up or divorce. What a Loss?
Marriage is the most fragile relationship in the universe… I found it like a balloon, you let it go and you can never ever have it again. I did…
I am neither an advocate of Men, nor I represent Women. I am just an admirer of the lovely young couples living a lavish life in their love nests making a very strong bond. An unbreakable bond…
I am all eyes and ears to the most recent divorces and breakups. Interestingly the key role is being played by the law in Pakistan to support the women with the similar equal rights to divorce men. This against the Islam rule triggered an unconscious wave of revenge among women whose ancestors (mothers and grannies) had been dominated by men throughout most of the written history. These educated / independent women lost respect for their men and are always trying to compete in every aspect of life.
Frankly speaking, behind the closed doors, a few reasonable men fighting to save their tingling relationships have been on the receiving end of man-bashing resentments. Nothing quite like women having the gumption in telling them on their faces that how much, he is a loser just because he is a man.
I am not against women, or their rights. I am writing only in the favor of saving relationships, most of which are on the verge of breaking up all over assumptions.
Most of these assumptions are in direct relationship with the mood swings. Yeah you heard me right filthy “mood swings”… especially in women.
We don’t care to know the scientific diversity among genders as how our bodies, minds, organs and emotions differ but also don’t know how to respond to our own internal, mental and physical changes. Women do go through PMS and it is a natural process.“Extra Thanks to ALWAYS” for their massive campaigning on teaching young men what are they missing on.
Still at large men don’t understand PMS other than laughing over “Poor Men Suffer…” while women also have no clue on how bitchy they can get with this at times… It’s always like telling the drunken men coming to life that how foolish they acted on which they never had any clue of and often gets away with what an excuse… I was drunk.
For the women whose partners understand PMS will also get away with the similar excuse coming from women… Come’ on… I was on my periods… Girls, you are somewhat lucky here, but that’s not enough…
Hi Guys, I know you are reading all this considered to be bullshit… Especially those getting married or recently gotten married… here is the greatest tip for you in life. If you don’t know PMS, you should not get married…, and even if you got… run… Don’t say I didn’t advise you earlier.
I simply don’t understand that why our Pakistani / Indian Muslims society is so shy to talk about simple natural things, which are so openly discussed in Quran at least at three occasions.
Premenstrual syndrome (PMS) (sometimes referred to as PMT or Premenstrual Tension) is a collection of physical, psychological, and emotional symptoms related to a woman’s menstrual cycle responsible for a woman to conceive and give birth . Women with PMS have symptoms of “sufficient severity to interfere with most aspects of life”. Such symptoms are usually predictable and occur regularly during a week prior to cycle. The symptoms may vanish after the cycle is over.
After complaints of feeling “out-of-control”, anxious, depressed and having uncontrollable crying spells, the most common complaints are headache, cramps and fatigue. But symptoms may vary from month to month and there may even be symptom-free months. Emotional and behavioral changes may include anxiety, depression, irritability, panic attacks, tension, lack of co-ordination, decreased work or social performance and altered libido.
Come on Guys… PMS and PMDD are not imaginary, but real physical issues. Women who experience these are not trying to “take things out” on others — they simply do not feel well.
I found women going wild in this phase… One fine lady once told me that she wanted to kill her husband the very day. On further querying by overcoming my shyness (thought she would kill me too if asked) found out she was on her periods. I convinced her to not kill him now, and assured of a plan to kill her husband together after 10 days. By then she was OK, and was living happily with the same man till her next cycle approached. Phewwwww I knew I was playing with fire… I knew I could be behind bars for making such plans… but yeah I am happy that with a few sessions with this Arab couple, they have a much improved life together in Berlin.
Women who often approach me for ideas on getting divorced (yeah I am expert on this too) are majorly passing the same phase… and I can simply bet over it. I frankly shoot, Sweetie… Are you on your cycle… and there I see a sad punctured cycle nodding to a perfect yes. Some women are on cycles… and some are on motorcycles…
PMDD… oh God, don’t even ask me about this. They say there is only one in a million women who suffer through PMDD, and luckily I got this one in a million chance with my ex… helping to be your mentor.
Believe me it’s not a sigh of relief, neither it’s a sign of pain, it’s much more then both of that…
PMDD (Premenstrual dysphoric disorder) is a severe form of PMS, afflicting 3% to 8% of women. It is so severe it can be debilitating due to either physical, mental or emotional symptoms causing significant depression and hopelessness; in extreme cases, women may feel like killing themselves or others. (Can never forget that) Attributing suicidal or homicidal feelings to “it’s just PMS” is inappropriate; these feelings must be taken as seriously as they are in anyone else and should be promptly brought to the attention of mental health professionals.
PMS and PMDD both interfere with a woman’s life, including relationships with others. Family relationships can be badly disrupted by them. This means relationships with spouse, children, parents, and significant others. Men must understand women well and shouldn’t react unknowingly to what they are unaware of; leading to an assumption of surprising insulting behaviors leading to a divorce.
Girls, if you let go your ego, and understand that I am not against you (I love women, isn’t it deea ?) most of you agree why Allah has not given the right to divorce to women… During those PMS (Pass my Shotgun) phase women won’t have any control over situation and will shoot anyone in the range. I would also request the Pakistani Authorities to amend the law to at least refrain the use of this right in the condition of PMS. Hope the Poor Men won’t Suffer…
Back to guys…
Behind most successful MEN I have seen in marriage, are those who have an eye on menstrual cycle of their partner over a calendar. These guys are often appreciated as caring men, or as per Mr. Hubbard’s statement “the ones who understand your silence” as they know when their partners need attention, and when they need to be ignored, when they need to be dominated and when they need to be agreed to whatever they say.
My advice to both Men and Women… Don’t react once you know its PMS. Don’t quote the incidents happened during the PMS phase in other arguments. Avoid… Avoid… Avoid… nothing else works…
In my next note I will be covering how to survive marital relationships during PMS. And my favorite… “Men have PMS too” is on its way, actually the third in the current series. I call these mere confusions, If I am able to make them clear to you, I will be Farhan, yeah that means Happy in Arabic. Till then adios…
Image : HelloCrazy.com